Confessions of a (Non)Shopaholic

Shopping: By definition it would mean buying stuff you need. But I guess that’s just too technical and impractical. As far as I can remember, shopping is and has always been about buying stuff when you are happy/ you are sad/ you got a raise/ you had a fight and want to cheer yourself up/ rainy season is approaching/ winter is approaching/ summer is approaching/ festival is approaching/… the list is of course endless. And apparently ‘shopping gene’ and ‘bargaining skills’ are a part and parcel of being a girl. But for some unknown reason I.Cannot.Stand.Shopping. I have got many ‘Oh My God!!’s, ‘You gotta be joking!’s and ‘Unbelievable!!’s from people when I told them about my shopping phobia (Those exclamations when came from girls were in a disapproving tone and when came from boys were in a happy tone :p). Even after staying in one of the most shopping-crazy cities, I still have not developed any liking for this, should I say hobby(?)! I am surrounded by love-to-shop-till-bags-drop friends and relatives but even then I cannot understand what makes girls so happy about it. Maybe I am missing something but as a strict Shopophobic (yea yea MS Word, I know it’s not an actual word, stop cribbing with a red line!), I found out reasons as to why I cannot stand the idea of going on a shopping spree.

1.      You have to get all ready and presentable to go for street shopping where you know you will be roaming in scorching sun amidst will-run-over-you-if-you-don’t-move crowd.

2.      Nobody, I repeat, nobody look for the thing which they actually want to buy. For example, if they want to buy shoes, as soon as they reach their shopping destination, they will start checking out wallets and handbags! How is that helping??

3.      I fail to understand how buying something of which you have no use, and spending you hard-earned money (well, bit of drama: p) on it will help you ‘cheer up’!!

4.       If you like something, you buy it. That is my logic. But apparently it is stupid to buy something from the very first shop you visit and it is an ‘in’ thing to check out every single shop in the locality and then going back to that first shop.

5.      Far from cheering me up, shopping leaves me tired and BORED!!

6.      No matter how hard I try, I cannot care about latest fashion trends and keeping up with them.

7.      Visiting a shop, trying on 50 different clothes, visiting other shops, repeating the same procedure, getting confused between two dresses you liked the most, settling on one, bargaining with the shop dealer as if your life depends on it, getting the cloth home and then thinking it looked different in shop lights and the returning it. Four Words- Not Amusing At All.

So after completing this small blog entry, I gotta get ready to go shopping because you see, winter/ friend’s wedding is approaching!! So that’s shopping: Like it, hate it, or curse it but you cannot escape it!! Amen.

Reasons We Enjoyed Ra.One!

What would you do if you read abysmal reviews of a movie, your friends and relatives telling you it is an absolute waste of time, not worth your money, and should be definitely avoided? Most of you would probably avoid that movie without as much as giving a second thought to it. But not us! No sir, we are a group of people who have watched movies like Maharaja and Aflatoon (yep...these are names of actual motion pictures), we have actually enjoyed an ingenious movie by the name of Saat Khoon Maaf and have chucked pop-corn at the screen while watching Ready (agreed, that was out of sheer frustration). So, just as to understand why exactly people start rambling after hearing the word Ra.One, we decided to take the matter in our own hands and go watch the movie in one of the most happening theatres in Mumbai- G7. But as bad luck would have it, we were told not to hoot and shout (even to appreciate the magnificent entry of our ‘Superhero’) in the theatre. But we somehow still managed to let our feelings be known to the public. So after watching the entire movie (oh yea…we saw the entire movie), I realized we actually enjoyed it and here is why:

1.      The actual name of the movie is Random Access Version One.

2.      As an Indian I feel so proud to see that a British firm not only has many Indian employees but in the conference full of Brits, every detail is discussed in Hindi. I think I cried out of joy and love for my nation.

3.      The actual hero of this movie (some girl named Prateik) has the coolest haircut ever! Some of my friends did not like it, I wonder why!

4.      I think there was Kareena Kapoor in the movie, do not really remember it but yes, I definitely remember that movie featured Sanju baba and Piggy Chops. I mean common people, that is more than one could have hoped for! It requires some serious thinking and efforts from the script-writer’s part to make such scenes actually happen!

5.      There are 3 levels of the game. Can.You.Believe.It- THREE!!!!!!!!

6.      Arjun Rampal does not feature in the entire movie (and this time I am not even being sarcastic, I really enjoyed Ra.One for that reason…lol)

7.      This movie and I repeat only this movie could achieve the impossible feat of burying a man and then spreading his ashes in the river. I and one of my friends were laughing but others seemed to think it was just cruel of us and we did not have H.A.R.T.

8.      Which brings me to the next LOL moment of the movie- H.A.R.T.

9.      I learned something so darn important from Ra.One- All you have to do to board a flight from UK to India is pass the metal detector test. And here I was thinking you actually need a TICKET! Silly me!

10.  Chitti (Rajnikanth).

11.  Another lesson learned- So what if husband has passed away as long as Sonia (I think this role was played by Kareena, not too sure, will double check) has a robo-replacement. Way to go chammak challo :D

12.   Chammak Challo (Again, no sarcasm this time, the song is real nice! Wow that makes 2 non-sarcastic reasons.)

13.  12 ‘dibbo wali’ local train and our ‘superhero’ takes almost 40 minutes to find his girl in it! I mean really hilarity ensured!

14.  By this point of the movie I had switched off the logic button in my brain but not one of my friend who observed that right after Dusshera, how can you have Ganesh Chaturthi Festival? To me, that was one more lesson to learn from Ra.One- Haan Farishtey Hote Hai!

15.  The deadliest, most evil, unbeatable,…(sense the sarcasm) bad, bad, bad villain of all times develops tattoos all over his body to scare his opponent! Oh the fright it gave us all!!!

16.  Ten Ra.One’s!! No am not kidding…you actually get to see 10 Arjun Rampal’s on screen with ONE single expression. You think that is an easy task?

17.  Recite poetry and BAM! You kill the bad, bad, bad villain.

18.  Oh I forgot, G.One means Good One! LOL

19.  There are special effects in the movie I think.

20.  MOVIE. ACTUALLY. ENDS.

So who says it is a waste of time to watch Ra.One? If nothing else, I assure you reason number 20 will guarantee some enjoyment.